maddiefrog: (Default)
Ah a cluttered mind, what a sad sight. Today I have one big cluttered mind and have no way to describe what is happening up in that brain of mine...
Let me start by saying that toady is the day before my house inspection and the house is a bomb zone which means that I will practically cleaning all day. OH WHAT FUN!! I literally don't know where to start and its just plain frustrating. To make matters worse, my sister has decided to escape for the day and go out with her boyfriend. Rolls eyes. It's not like if she was home she would actually do anything to help anyway but still now I will have to do twice as much as I would have to do... urghh sorry but it's really frustrating me.
Along with that I see that two of my friends are having problems I don't really know what do or whether I should do anything at all. I'm just worried that will end up becoming distant with each other and that would suck because they are besties but I'm going to let them sort that out for themselves and try and be there for the both of them.
Another thing on my mind is that I have this friend that used to consider me one of there best friends and we used to talk to each other about stuff. They helped me deal with stuff that happened earlier in the year and I thought I helped them though a tough period in their life. But now I'm not so sure what is going on. They have become distant and we barely even talk to each other which I would be fine with except I have half my classes with them and just urghh. I don't whether I'm supposed to really talk to them or what is going on. Personally I'm not really hurt by any of that stuff because why should I waste my time on them if they aren't even going to try. I just want to know what happened and if it's my fault that we became distant. I mean I have tried talking to them more but the conversation now just stops where as before it was easy to keep going and going. I guess we just grew apart and I just have to stop over thinking it that much.
Oh and I feel like suddenly I'm failing at everything I do. Which isn't really helping my school work and everything else. It really started with this media task that we were given a while ago and I feel like I totally bombed out on that and let everyone in my group down because I wasn't good enough... Now we are doing another project and I'm with a different group but my old group kind of merged together and yeah their group is doing alot better than mine or so I feel. And everytime I walk into that classroom I feel interior to that group and it didn't help that yesterday that part of that group came over and gloated about what shows that they got in the task. At first I was like whatever because I thought it didn't matter because it was whatever... but them my friend from above came and like looked at our list of shows and was like interesting and I was like whatever. But then I started thinking about it and it just mad me pissed, which is stupid I know but I can't help it. And now I'm like mass stressing about my dance solos and shit and just argh.
I really just want the year to be over already...

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